I kept my promise and put flowers on Lena's grave - although I'm sad about Lena, I've got some smashing memories of her, I find it so hard to accept she's gone, I still ache inside, as much as I consider it a privilage to tidy up round her grave, I have to fight back the tears. I know this sounds daft, but I sobbed my eyes out that weekend - I couldn't help it, you'd have thought a 45-year-old would stop being so silly, I feel like I've lost a sister as well as a friend.

Lena, when I met her again in 1993, I couldn't believe it was her - apart from the numerous TV stuff she did and meeting her in Stratford Upon Avon in 1977 with Les Crowther - "I remember you" she said. There we were in Hoddesdon town centre, I suppose getting the flowers to her that time gave me a thrill to see her face light up, it was magical. Lena just grew on me, despite all her problems, my word she was still as nice to talk to, over all that time - cups of tea and chats either in her flat or the cafe we met at. I couldn't talk to a lot of people about what bugged me, what was on television, even personal things it was like talking to someone like Lena who gave me the love I never had, if I felt down Lena said "You look a bit down Steve what's up, maybe I can help"? The best thing was I could talk to her about anything. I said "If I can help you Lena you lovely woman call me". I gave her my phone number, I meant every word. She phoned me quite a few times, "Fancy a chat Steve, come up I'll brew up some tea", I didn't care if it was two in the morning, I'd go to her flat and enjoy a chat.

I knew Lena was suffering from depression, etc, her appearance wasn't so good, I didn't give a hoot, I don't care what someone looked like, it's what is inside and despite all that we got on well. Lena was so hospitable, out shopping she would come up and say "Hi Steve". Nine times out of ten we had a cuddle. Lena was a very private person very wary who was about, I just felt thrilled when I spoke to her, she made me smile a lot. We had some lovely evenings together either at a pub or in her flat watching TV or a video, she was lovely company, Lena said how lonely she felt, I myself spoke about how lonely I felt, we just enjoyed each others presence, I can't describe it, it's just we were friends, her Father said "It's nice to see Lena trusts you and I appreciate your time with her".

If Lena wasn't so well and she needed help, I'd happily help, any shopping etc, no problem, I didn't want paying. "Thanks Steve, what do I owe you"? she said. "Just your smile will do me", I said. "If that's all it costs I'll smile whenever I see you" she said.

When she smiled it was magical, delightful. We went out for a drink it made me feel great to be with her, when she made herself up she looked smashing, she radiated warmth and kindness. Sitting next to Lena was like a magnetic attraction, it was like two book ends together. I didn't care about Lena's past love-life she'd suffered enough, she'd talk about her career, she'd show me photographs of herself when she was younger, to see them was great. She wanted to get back into singing again, if only things were different.

Lena will always have a special place in my heart, I can play her records, look at her signed photo and say to myself "Lena Zavaroni, the most genuine, caring, kind and charming woman you could ever meet, I miss you so much, but I'll never forget you".

STEVE'S POEM TO LENA

I think of you every day of the year, whether I'm far away or near, I can look into the sky at night and I can see a lovely sight, and I know where you are - it's Lena Zavaroni, the brightest shining megastar.

Click on the above image to view the card that Lena gave to Steve, with her own personal message.

Steve has sent me another card that Lena sent to the pub where he works to thank them for a box of chocolates, click on the picture below to view it.